Borges

U. S. senior citizens, noting President Bushs new budget, which calls for billions to be spent in Iraq while billions are cut from Medicare, are foregoing traditional retirement destinations like Florida and Arizona and opting for Iraq.

The numbers reflect a convincing coincidence. Bushs budget calls for $100 billion more for Iraq and $100 billion in cuts for Medicare.

Following up on the new retirement trend, we went to Kennedy Airport and caught up with some seniors who were booked for Baghdad.

Excuse me, I asked a group of seniors who just stepped off the bus in front of Saudi Arabian Airlines. I understand youre all heading for Iraq?

Thats right, a man in Bermuda shorts replied, and reached into his golf bag. He took out a chapeau in the usual mullah fashion. Got my black turban right here. You know what they say? When in Baghdad, do as the Iraqis do.

And I have my black burkah, his wife added, lifting it from her purse. She slipped it over her head and modeled it. What do you think?

Very cute, I replied. Youll fit right in. Can you please clarify why youve chosen to retire in Iraq instead of, say, Miami?

Simple, son, a man with a fishing rod, who happened to be wearing a baseball cap on top of his turban, said, Thats where the Medicare money is.

Not to mention social security, his wife commented.

The plain fact is, wed rather eat in Iraq than starve in America, another man added.

But arent you concerned about safety issues? I asked.

Of course, we are, the man in the Bermudas replied. But were in this for the long term and, the way things are going, we can hardly count on Medicare and social security in America.

Weve got to follow the food, another elderly gentleman stated.

But you could get blown up? I suggested.

Oh, we thought about that, the man with the baseball hat on top of his turban replied. Well just have to take our chances.

Never underestimate the power of a senior citizen, a frail man said, raising his fist. Didnt you read about the 70-year-old fella who broke the neck of the kid who tried to rob a busload of seniors?

Yes, I did notice that event, I told him.

He was a war vet, one of the women informed me, with evident pride.

Yep, of one American war or another, a senior volunteered with a sigh. Quite a few to choose from.

How about suicide bombers? I dared to ask.

Bring em on, son, the frail senior said, assuming the position of a boxer with his dukes up.

But arent you forgetting that most of the money earmarked for Iraq is for military activity? I asked.

Were going for the rebuilding money, the man in the Bermudas said. Theyre wasting billions. And we figure we can get in the way of some of it.

And what do you think is going to happen when Americans see millions of seniors, retired in Iraq? They cant just let us starve there, can they?

Congress will have to divvy up something for us, and thats more than theyre likely to do if we stay in America.

And something is better than nothing, a woman affirmed.

But what about the culture gap? I asked. Arent you a little set in your ways?

Yes, we are, one of the men admitted.

I notice the turbans. Do you plan on becoming Muslim?

Whatever it takes to get in the way of some money, the man insisted.

Weve thought about it, his wife interjected. And becoming Islamic is better than not being able to afford medical care.

Or starving on whats left of social security, another woman added.

Do you think youll be able to enjoy the usual retirement activities there, like golf and fishing? I asked.

No problem, the man with the golf bag said. Iraq may not have the best golf courses, but I see theres plenty of desert for sand traps.

Ive noticed a river runs through Baghdad, the man with the fishing rod said. Got to be something in it besides body parts.

How about you? I asked a woman with a tennis racquet.

I havent seen any tennis courts there, she admitted, but some of the sand should be hard enough for the ball to bounce.

What about a net? I asked.

I guess therell be some sacrifices, she replied, and looked around at the crowd. But I know one thing. I wont have far to look for someone to play with.

I brought my racket, another woman called.

And, if worse comes to worse, her husband advised her, you can teach an Iraqi how to play.

Excuse us, son, one of the men said. We have to move along now. Cant miss our flight.

Were bound for Baghdad! his wife almost sang.

OK, I replied. Thanks for the interview. And enjoy your retirement.

Tom Attea, humorist and creator of http://NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "good, genuine laughs" and "great humor and ebullience."

Obviously, most problems with barking dogs result from dogs that dont have their owner around to quiet them down. In fact, the owners absence in many cases is whats rousing the dogs vocal chords.

Most of what you can do to get your dogs barking under control is done directly by you when you catch your dog in the act. For instance, if you know that your dog is barking at, say people who walk their dogs past your house when youre away, then it is possible to recreate this scenario with you present so you can correct the behavior. However, intermittent barking such as this may be tolerated, by you, the neighborhood, and indeed your local dog legislation, provided your dog is not menacing passers-by through a crumbling fence.

A lonely dog barking or whining can be both much more of a nuisance and much more difficult to address, but there are still some things you should be doing. Try to come home more often, or try to arrange for a friend to visit, ideally with their friendly and energetic dog. It may nip the problem right in the bud. Enough said.

If you know youve got a barking dog problem that has the potential to anger neighbors, a little public relations work can go a long way. If possible, ask your neighbors if there is a barking nuisance coming from your place and, if there is, tell them youre working on it. Then work on it.

You might also try staging a false exit. Walk once around the house or whatever it takes so they think youre gone. When your dog barks, correct the behavior with a Quiet command (though your sudden appearance will likely be enough).

You can use special bark collars, that either use sonic or electric power to correct your dog. Others squirt a substance such as citronella when they bark, a scent they despise. I dont use them, and the ones I have seen in use were awkward and not 100 percent effective. But I stay away from them less because they train through discomfort (they do not harm your pet), and more because they displace the source of authority from you to some device they dont understand. Furthermore, they dont differentiate between acceptable - even necessary - barking on one hand, and noise pollution on the other.

Theres also a medieval-like procedure whereby the dogs voice-box is removed to render them barkless, or at least takes the bite out of their bark. This is simply abhorrent.

A better option for desperate dog owners is arranging some form of doggy day care, whether its a professional service or a personal arrangement. Some dogs simply do not get enough stimulation during the day, and they will let the world know about it until they do.

Martin Olliver is a proud member of the Kingdom of Pets team (http://www.kingdomofpets.com). For more great articles on problem barking, visit: http://kingdomofpets.com/dogobediencetraining/articles/barking_dogs.php.

Life is about shopping. We make choices as soon as we wake up. What to wear, where to go, decisions every where. Think of your environment as a boutique. It is open 24 hours all seven days. Make a list before you go shopping. What do you need? You might need some basic clothes. A pair of shoes and maybe a hat? Do you do your shopping just occasionally or regularly? Think about the shops you visit. Is it the same as everybody else is going to or is it special ones? Can you see yourself in your life as the way you do your shopping?

Do you make a list everyday? I mean the planning for the following day. It is vital for your business with a plan. If you fail to plan then you plan to fail. It is always a good quote. Do you shop at special places? That can be related to your business environment. Are you looking for customers and business peoples every where or do you search for any particular ones? We are trying to find the one in a million people so where are they? I believe they are not in public rooms. Good business people are like pearls in a shell. You have to pick an ocean to find one to five really good ones. I know a lot of people that just goes in to stores and make shopping as a random action show. Look at their lives it is almost the same. They walk around and hope everything will be better. Every new years eve they make a wish that everything will be better, make new commitments about loosing weight, quit smoking and make more money. They expect different results but do exactly the same every day until the next New Years Eve.

That is amazing. So think about your own life. Make a wishing list and a plan for today, tomorrow and the future. Be selective when you look for good people in to your business. Rather be working a long time for one good person than to involve half interested people all the time. Be in creative environments too. Where does good business people associates? Hang around there. Talk to them, make good relationships with them. Get to know them. Get to know what they eat, wear, talk about etc. Copy the behaviour of the one person you admire in business.

Read about that person too. How did he start? Does he have any particular skills you might have too? So where are you dong youre shopping? How do you do youre shopping? Do you shop by yourself or with others? How often do you go? Put together a scheme for your work. Make a plan and stick to it. Sooner then later you will make it. Remember everything you dream about you can achieve. It is all just a matter of time. Since we all have 24 hours why do not make the best of it. Make it today, tomorrow and always. Good luck and have lots of fun.

MarieLouise is working as a personal trainer and a life coach. She is also very skilled as a networker with several years experience from different MLM companies. http://marielouisefalk.blogspot.com

Pocket bikes are miniature motorcycles -- powered, for the most part, by oil- and gas-burning engines similar to those used in chain saws, weed whackers or other small motorized tools -- and they look just like the real thing.

The snazziest models cost thousands and are made in Italy, but the ones that are selling by the container load run from $200 to $500. They come from China, among other places, and are getting snapped up by eager teenagers and, in some cases, not-so-teenagers.

At Broadtek LLC, a South San Francisco firm that imports them, the cardboard cartons containing the small bikes are stacked to the ceiling of a tall warehouse and are quickly going out the door to eager customers.

In Walnut Creek, Eric Rahin, owner of Sonic Scooterz, says he's selling them in droves -- "from college students to people in their late 50s. It's basically a toy to have some fun with."

Manufacturers say the bikes are supposed to be used only on closed race tracks, private roads or any other place where there are no public traffic laws and, more important, no big cars or trucks to run into you. Many buyers follow that advice.

But now you see some of these new pocket bikes zinging in and out of parking lots, up and down residential streets and, occasionally into the side of a car. And therein lies the rub.

"It's very difficult for a driver (of a car) to see one on those bikes, because of their low height," said San Francisco police Lt. Kitt Crenshaw. "We've had several accidents in the last few weeks, and people went to the hospital."

The pocket bikes have a top speed of about 35 mph, but can be souped up to go faster. They evolved from tiny but highly sophisticated racing bikes that campaign on European race tracks and are sometimes used as training vehicles for Grand Prix motorcycle racers.

The bikes are faithful imitations of popular normal-size street motorcycles, which, for marketing reasons, are faithful imitations of pure race bikes, down to the disk brakes, handlebars, chain drives, twist-grip throttles and electronic ignition.

The little bikes weigh about 50 pounds, stand about a foot and a half high and can easily be put in the trunk of a car. They have tiny engines -- 47cc or 49cc displacement, less than 1/20th the size of a big motorcycle. And they are enticing.

"It's a fun little thing to ride," said Matt Damon, a 21-year-old salesman in a Martinez pet store. "It's a whole lot cheaper than a $6,000 or $7,000 big bike. For years now, I've been riding different types of motorcycles, but it's more like the small bikes are a fun thing, instead of just transportation. And it's easier to maintain and burns less gas."

But Damon did admit, "I took it for a ride down the street and got pulled over. The officer was kind of nice about it. But I got a ticket."

Police departments in the Bay Area and elsewhere in California have been cracking down on the little two-wheelers, saying they are a major accident waiting to happen. No police agency could come up with information about any deaths caused by pocket bike crashes, but police want them off the public roads before the inevitable happens.

"Their numbers are starting to increase," said Milpitas police Officer Jay Johnson, who was assigned by his department to look into the phenomenon and ultimately write about it for the weekly Milpitas Post. "Most of the complaints we're getting is that drivers can't see them or there'll be a group of them racing, or they're running stop signs."

For a while, though, until Johnson began studying up on the subject, and the California Highway Patrol sent out a memo clarifying just what is and what is not legal about the bikes, confusion seemed to be paramount.

In fact, it shouldn't be. On many bikes, there's a decal right there on the gas tank that says these things do not conform to "federal motor vehicle safety standards."

After a lengthy consult with the state Vehicle Code and the Department of Motor Vehicles, the CHP explained that the bikes do not meet a number of standards required for all vehicles registered in California -- the most telling example being the stipulation that "headlamp height (be) between 22 and 54 inches."

Technical problems aside, it's the safety issue that concerns authorities.

"We're really concerned about these things mixing with traffic," said CHP spokesman Steve Kohler. "If you think about it, something that small is difficult to see, when it's mixed in with cars, trucks and buses. Drivers don't even see full-size motorcycles. There's no way they're going to see these things."

Or, as David Edwards, editor in chief of Cycle World Magazine and a man who puts about 20,000 miles a year on motorcycles, said: "When you get out in city traffic, you'll be at more risk than on a full-size motorcycle. But they only hold (a little) gas, so you won't go too far. And they're noisy as hell, so at least people will hear you coming if not see you coming."

- Michael Taylor, Chronicle Staff Writer Wednesday, June 16, 2004

You may wonder what sex has to do with mens grooming. The truth is it has a lot to do with it! With your clothes on or off, attracting someone, even someone you are currently having sex with is important. If youre a well groomed and well dressed man that will instantly make you more attractive.

Guys who take care of themselves in terms of how they dress, how they shave, how they take care of their skin, and even how they trim their body hair are going to be sexier than those who dont. Its worth the little bit of time it takes to get yourself well groomed and ready for action so to speak. It is said that men think about sex every 7 seconds - so what are you waiting for?

Your confidence level will also increase when you know you look your best. The result is that youll be more confident and better able to perform. After all, who can complain when they can tell youve taken the time to make yourself look great? Your sex partner will be able to tell! Think of it this way - a great singer for example, prepares himself to put on the best concert he can.

A great ballet dancer rehearses to make sure he is as perfect as possible on stage. The same goes for how you take care of yourself. Putting the time in to looking your best pays off! If you dont do anything but shower and shave, chances are youre not putting your best self forward. Even finding out how to shave so your shave looks great is an improvement over just slapping on some shaving cream and quickly shaving it off.

The same goes for how you take care of your teeth, in terms of how you look when you smile. If youve taken the time to keep your teeth as clean and as white as possible, thats an instant turn on. Another question to ask yourself is if you have body odor. Who wants to have sex with a guy that smells like a skunk? Nobody! Do you even think to check how you smell before going on a date or going to bed with someone?

In my book Grooming Secrets For Men, theres a reason why I have a section devoted to just body odor and how to get rid of it naturally. Your grooming habits all work together in terms of making you as attractive as possible. The way you dress also plays a part in your attraction level. Not only will looking your best attract the people you want to attract, it will also make you more confident in bed as well!

Author David Scott Bartky helps men all over the world look their best with the techniques and advice offered in his book "Grooming Secrets For Men" which can be found at http://www.thestylishman.com Isn't it time you look your best!